Archive for September, 2009
Prince Charming’s Waiting Room
One of the major conflicts I’ve been having since my move back has been accepting what my family values. I truly admire their strong sense of family. For them, life is about family and doing all you can to take care of them. My father has told me time and time again, life begins when you start your own family. But with marriage still far on horizon, what does that mean? I’m just in a waiting room until Prince Charming comes and breathes life into me?
It isn’t about rejecting the idea of marriage. Once I find the right man, I would love to get married and start a family. The idea that I’m just living for that one goal is ancient. Divorce is even more prevalent than ever these days, and I could get married tomorrow if I didn’t care. There’s so so so much I would like to accomplish.. so many places I would like to travel.. that don’t hinge on getting married. If I meet him along the way, I know the journey will only get more enriched with that someone special by my side. Until then, why put my life on hold?
My parents are not the first, nor will they be the last, Arab family to have these views. If you’ve watched my “Big Fat Greek Wedding”, you’d get an idea of how families are in this part of the world. All the cousins, aunts constantly over and everyone involved in everyone else’s life. It can be quite draining at times and this weekend, I escaped to the mountains to breathe a little.
I love my family. A big part of why I came back when I did is because I felt a huge gap in my connection with them. One of my biggest priorities is getting closer to my “little” sister (I say that with quotes because she’s actually taller than me and often gets confused for the older sister).
Working on a novel based on my family, I also realized how little I truly knew each one. The past few months have opened my eyes to how they think and why each person is the way they are. I’ve come to appreciate my grandmother more, who before then I just regarded as grumpy. Once she told me the stories of her life, I came to understand and admire the person she is today.
The true conflict lies in avoiding conflict with my family, while not compromising the things I value and want from life. Then again, am I asking for the impossible?
Thank You Mother
Yesterday I found this poem I had written for mother’s day that goes way back to when I was a rebellious teenager (you have no idea).. my mother kept it framed by her bedside and I haven’t seen it in years!
Thank you mother for always listening
Even when my words didn’t make much sense
Thank you mother for always giving
Even when I wouldn’t give back
Thank you mother for always wanting the best for me
Even when I couldn’t see it
Thank you mother for always making me work harder
Even when I was too stubborn or lazy
Thank you mother for always giving me advice
Even when I wouldn’t take it
Thank you mother for always worrying about me
Even when I was able to take care of myself
Thank you mother for always teaching me
Even when I acted like a knew it all
Thank you mother for always standing by my side
Even when I tried to push you away
Thank you mother for always loving me
Even when I didn’t know how to love you back
Most of all, thank you mother for being the best
Especially when I was at my worst.
Cookie-Cut Ideology
Life is not based on what your friends’ children are doing, what everyone else thinks of what I’m doing, and unquestionably living by the books. When will my parents trust my vision for life and stop trying to cram me into this cookie-cut idea of what they think I should be?
Tattoo You
Just received my first tattoo design client!! So I asked him how big he wanted it to be, and he sent me this:
.. tattoo goes here.
Pretty big, eh? He wants something a word written in the calligraphic Arabic style. Exciting!!
Hope
A simple short film about communication. Beautiful video.
