Dating Persona
June 10, 2010 at 8:34 am 3 comments
By the time we’ve hit our mid-twenties, we’ve had quite a few significant relationships. Relationships we’ll always treasure, relationships we don’t know why we got into in the first place, and most importantly, relationships that shaped us into who we are today.
Somewhere between all the “I love yous” and romantic kisses, we develop a dating persona. This subconscious side makes its appearance when we are in a relationship-relationship. (Sometimes during flings, but it feels fake)
That persona is not something new. Rather, it’s a cumulation of behaviors, nicknames and gestures you’ve picked up that come out when you’re in a relationship. For example, it could be little things like missing calling to let him know you got home safely, or calling each other “baby”.
Have you ever caught yourself doing or saying things to your current boy/girlfriend that felt strangely familiar? You may not even notice you’re doing it after all!
These are things you learned to do from another relationship so when your brain realizes you’re entering a new relationship, it pushes “play” on your dating persona.
Now the real question here is: is it possible to ever enter a new relationship without that persona altogether? To start with no preconcieved notions of how to be in a relationship?
Doubt it. But that’s not a bad thing. Our dating persona is always evolving, and the more serious a relationship gets, the more it adapts to the person we’re with.
Entry filed under: Floating. Tags: Baby, dating, Habits, Persona, relationships.
1.
saidja heynickx | June 10, 2010 at 8:50 am
loryne, nice text, i agree with you ; there is always hidden data in our system of experiences
2.
Lorena | June 10, 2010 at 8:55 am
Been a while Saidja! I was thinking about you just the other day!
Hope all’s well
3.
illtellyouasecret | June 10, 2010 at 11:27 am
Hey lorena,
Let me tell you a secret. I think for many it’s hard to let go of the past, hard to change habits let alone assume for the better. It’s up to us to change all of that to start fresh and we have a tendency to always think neurotically about the next relationship we will enter. Because of this misconception, we have our gaurds up, believing this person would hurt us. Since we cannot detach ourselves from the past, we pick up old habits unintentionally and behave in the old manner. Once we break through this misconception and behaviour, maybe we can stop judging and be free from negative assumption, drop our negative thoughts and learn that we should just stop thinking how a relationship should be like and start experiencing it.
ITYAS