The New Memorial
August 10, 2010 at 5:25 pm 1 comment
What happens to our Facebook accounts when we die? I ask myself that question each time my friend Alber’s profile picture appears in one of my sidebars. I’m eerily reminded that Alber is no longer with us, yet a part of him still lives on Facebook. With 17 friends in common, he makes an appearance quite often too.
Simply opening his profile page is a painful reminder. I teared up when i noticed his last album, entitled “last vacation trip”, was in fact his last vacation trip. I miss him dearly, but is keeping his account active after this long really the healthiest thing?
For others, the profile is a venue for sharing their thoughts and reaching out to him. The most recent post dates June 1st. (For those who didn’t know him, Alber passed away last March)
Habibi Alber, I miss you so much. More than you can ever imagine… Habibi, I know that you are in a good place. Rest in peace Alber. love you very much..
I’ve also found comfort in posting on his wall after he passed away, but still find it weird. Do we continue to live on via our Facebook profiles? Are Facebook profiles the new memorial of our age? Is this the family’s way of keeping his memory alive? And does anyone actually sign into his account every now and then to check things? Will people need to add instructions to their wills from now on? “And as his passing words, he requested Marilyn take full control of his Facebook account..” Imagine!
Thinking about all this gives me goosebumps. Death is not an issue we’re usually comfortable thinking about, much less discussing. It looms quietly in the background somewhere. And would I really want my Facebook profile outliving me? On the one hand, I want to be remembered. Who doesn’t? But is what I have right now on my profile, what I want to be remembered for, for ETERNITY?
I’ll leave you with that haunting thought for now.
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I came across an article in The Guardian that describes Facebook’s approach to “memorializing” profile pages of friends and relatives who have died. “The site invited family members to report when one of its users had died, to enable it to remove sensitive information such as updates and contacts.”
Read more about this here.
Entry filed under: From the Heart. Tags: death, digital memorials, eternity, facebook, remembering.
1.
Meedo Taha | August 10, 2010 at 6:06 pm
Ironically your post first showed up in my browser with the title /p-165 or something like that, which reminded me of the end of an old or neglected Facebook URL (you know, before we had the option of customizing it into something prettier).
A friend of mine who died last year of congenital heart disease also still has a Facebook account that comes back to haunt me every now and then. But for me the effect is soothing and beautiful, like the outlines someone we love might leave on their unmade bed.
I knew Jenni very briefly as make-up artist on a short film I shot in LA. And like her electronic memorial, her quiet yet assertive aura lingered on after she left the set every evening.
I miss her and hope that whoever is maintaining her account continues to do so as a testament to her memory.