Foreign Investment
August 16, 2010 at 10:43 am 7 comments
You’ve read it everywhere – countless blogs and even international newspapers. The ratio of women to men in Lebanon is seven to one. Yawn. (Whether that’s changed recently or not, I’ll have to check.) That basically leaves the men with an unlimited selection of beautiful, educated, and overly-eager women to choose from. Unless the rest of the women decide to start dating women, how is the playing field ever balanced out? Are the other six women destined to live in misery? No more chance for love?
Well, that’s where our attention needs redirecting.
While this Lebanese catch is enjoying his options, other men are paying attention. Several of my girl friends, who’d originally prefer to marry a Lebanese man, are considering other options too. Enter the charming French, Spanish, British, German or American man. Foreign men with just as much to offer the Lebanese women, and the way I see it, sometimes more. Don’t roll your eyes now in assumption of a foreign passport.
Rather, and what my friends have been telling me, it’s an appreciation they don’t get from Lebanese men. Lebanese men, long-known for being mama’s boys, want a women to take care of them. Let me rephrase that. They expect it. This generation of ambitious and well-traveled women want someone who won’t hold them back. She’s looking for someone who’ll see her as an equal and love her for that.
That’s where the foreign man is suddenly that much more appealing. One of my cousins married a Dutch man a few years ago after no luck with Lebanese men. Their romance blossomed and they now have two adorable sons. I can still remember her astonishment at how easily his family accepted her. We, as Lebanese women, take for granted how well we are raised and the family values we naturally adopt. Here, it’s no big deal, but for the foreigner, the qualities of a Lebanese woman are very rare. And valued.
Greek and Lebanese parents have something in common..
As much as our parents will fight us on wanting to date a foreigner, it’s time that mentality changes. And it slowly is. Few Lebanese extended families are completely “Lebanese”. In my family alone, we have German, Dutch and Puerto Rican additions. And the children end up gorgeous through the mixed combination. I’m sure you have that uncle who married a foreign woman or a cousin who’s engaged to a foreign man. Is it really that bad? What’s the trade-off: marrying a Lebanese just to marry a Lebanese and keep the folks happy? Don’t know about you, but I’m too selfish to want to do that.
For those hoping the Lebanese family remain “purely” Lebanese, realize that it’s the Lebanese men that need to shape up and stop letting foreign men serenade their women..
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Entry filed under: From the Heart. Tags: foreign men, Lebanese men, Lebanese women, ratio, relationships, seranade.
1.
beyo11 | August 16, 2010 at 12:09 pm
Really interesting phenomenon. Least is the association of the Female / Male ratio with women considering foreign men, as this was a preference for many girls even before. The phenomenon is incredible and it will lead, slowly, but surely great results.
2.
Meedo Taha | August 16, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Not to incite a gender war here, but out of the supposed 7 women to every 1 of us, barely 0.5 has anything remotely interesting going for her. The cookie cutter has been busy in this little country of ours, and both genders have produced forgettable replicas that roll along the assembly line through all the prerequisite social checkpoints before falling into a predictably convenient marriage. Blah.
However to think that the answer lies in dating foreigners is a common cliché. Every culture is plagued with its stereotypes (and like all stereotypes they happen to be true).
What I do agree with though is that everyone should lighten up a little and not prematurely codemn (or indeed glorify) a potential partner (whether local or foreign) based on what can only be termed xenophobic misconceptions.
3.
Lorena | August 16, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Thanks for your comments Beyo and Meedo
Though there are many of those cookie-cutter types, the ones I’m specifically referring to are not. They are women who’ve traveled or lived abroad, are independent and have ambitions past getting married. They find it just as difficult to find a decent man as others around the world.
What sucks for them is that society keeps reminding them that even with all that, marriage is the ultimate goal. You can imagine my frustration at moving back home and having to hear non-stop why I won’t settle down already.
Men have it much easier, and many still prefer the cookie-cutter, barbie-doll type. It tends to be the women here who always get the bad rep for playing too many mind games and being hard to get. Truth is, men here play just as many games and the fact that there are so many willing options encourages them to be players. Who’s fault is it? Both sexes definitely.
However, this post is not about pointing fingers and waging a battle of the sexes. The point is rather to show the other side of the dating field today..
4.
Lipanantsi | August 16, 2010 at 7:20 pm
the first thing that came to mind when I read the title of this post is how so many got suckered into Foreign Investments which turned out to be nothing but ponzi schemes. And guess what? Local investment turned out to be a winner after all. Just food for thought ladies
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5.
Samsam | August 16, 2010 at 9:43 pm
I agree with what you said Loryne.
6.
Ramzi | August 17, 2010 at 12:01 pm
Loryne, we are very lucky to be part of a group of people who have a reasonable mix of wit, humour, intelligence, education, and a certain something that wouldn’t repel whoever we may be interacting with – it might be good looks or at least a bit of charm, and the first wouldn’t last long if you didnt have the last.
The idea of foreigners as spouses is a fact in the case of international exposure, especially since in most cases (most being 99%) the foreigners you interact with in your travels are of a similar background to you, whether in interest, education, life or in spirit. But in the case of going out in Lebanon, on any given night or day, you will interact with the egotistical ignorant, or the educated underachiever, or the BMW driver with hairy chest etc… whom you wouldn’t be interacting with abroad.
So some of these Lebanese guys, who can be insufferable, and some of the acceptable ones, are working abroad, and in doing so, they have reduced the ratio to 7 to 1 to girls in Lebanon. The sad thing is, this ratio of 1 left in Lebanon have to deal with that ratio of 7 who are in most cases insufferable, and who are as I have already shared my description of with you before. I only have to say that you are lucky to be dealing with this ratio of 1, while we have to deal with a ratio of 7
7.
Gass | January 27, 2011 at 9:48 pm
Well it’s not a question of getting married or not; it a question of love, romance and happiness.
Lebos are a people in permanent denial, wannabes, superficial, materialistic, arrogant, and unreliable.
The cave male is Beirut doesn’t inspire romance, love, happiness, protection, he inspires bling bling !
And bling bling is the only way to live in Lebanon and be respected. No bling bling means no respect, powerless, unprotected. Nowhere else in the world you need that much extension in power to cover yourself and your loved ones; and all this burden is carried by the macho Lebanese male who becomes more macho and more violent. No one can live is such conditions permanently; it’s insane!
Elsewhere all we worry about is our jobs and our next vacation. No invasive society to judge you on your look or your car, you live love and care for the ones you love, make true friends, meet authentic people (or sometimes not) and you learn to appreciate little, simple things in life.
Not all Lebanese believe in this i bet! They want more and more bling bling , and thus many of them return to Lebanon after a few years in a foreign country .