The grass is not always greener..
January 5, 2012 at 4:05 pm 3 comments
Moving to the US (or any other country for that matter but Lebanon) is a dream for so many people here. Why is that green card, visa or foreign passport STILL the ultimate dream? Why is that STILL the solution to everyone’s problems? It’s getting old.
We live in an escapist culture here. We avoid problems by partying, over-lavishing ourselves in fancy brands and cars or surgically removing traces of our true identities. The 2006 war is the ultimate case study of how while bombs were hitting coastal towns of Lebanon, people fled to the mountains and the nightlife there boomed like never before. New pubs opened and stores saw unprecedented profits in a time of national crisis.
Every Lebanese person know this about our culture and some might even delight in the ironies, but there’s something deeper there we fail to realize. We’d rather run away from our problems than face them. It’s only natural, right? But in a country that has so much potential for change and opportunity, if we keep waiting for that first chance to leave and abandon it, what’ll be left of Lebanon?
I’ve lived outside, and I’ll admit, it certainly has its perks (and life in an organized and stable society helps), but I’ve come back and been back for almost 3 years now. Now I’m not saying that I don’t sometimes want to just put my hands up in the air and say “Enough, I’m outta here!” but I’ve come to realize that I’d be giving up too soon. And not for the right reasons at that. Also, where would I go? Where would I truly belong? I certainly didn’t belong in the US.
Every time around this season, all those from abroad come home to celebrate Christmas and the holidays with their loved ones in Lebanon. In comes the over-congestion on the roads, pubs and restaurants overflowing with customers and mixed accents in the air. Now that I’m part of the receiving party, I observe them as citizen visitors (for lack of a better word) to our country – and not necessarily in a bad way. They’re here to have fun and spend time with their families. A lot of them might complain at the lack of electricity, slow internet and traffic, but then they’re gone one or two weeks later. It now annoys me when they complain because they don’t live it every day. They’re looking at it from an outside opinion. Several of those citizen visitors go back to the countries they’re living in, smug in the fact they have it better where they’re living while those living here look at them through envious eyes, hoping they can leave soon too.
I’m tired of this “the grass is greener on the other side” mentality we have here. We have some pretty great things here and life can be good in Lebanon if you know how to see (and create) that life. It took me 6 months of kicking and screaming when I first returned to adjust, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel and we as humans can surprise ourselves in our adaptation methods. Maybe for some life away from Lebanon is working for some (or lots) of people and that’s perfectly fine. Some of my best friends are living in Dubai, Europe and the US. There’s plenty the West and other parts of the world have to offer. That’s not what bothers me but rather it’s the “let’s leave this god-forsaken-life here in lebanon” view we’ve had for far too long and those who think that those living here lack ambition and are doomed for a hard life. Things HAVE changed since you left buddy.
Ok, so there are many, many problems here that are out of our hands and I dream of the day we have the right representative in our country to steer things the right way, but that’s a dream we’re all waiting for. Corruption, theft, lack of security, disregarded human rights and other major issues are in the hands of the leaders of our country and it’s them that need to make a change. But if we (the ambitious, educated, inspired youth) keep leaving the country just because of its problems, who’ll be left to fix things?
You might be reading this post and thinking “Ah, poor thing.. such an idealist girl. Join the club!” and maybe I’m just reiterating things that many before me have said, but here’s hoping there are others like me reading this that have returned and making something out of there lives here to stand as examples. I was part of the generation who fled the 2006 war and started a life abroad. Some of my friends ended up staying abroad for mostly career development and opportunity reasons, but when I returned in 2009, I noticed a pattern of others returning too. Some didn’t last too long and went back, but they tried. A lot of the returnees are still here and it’s created a bit of a club among us. We’ve been there, we’ve tried it, we’ve returned. What brought us back? Everyone has their own reasons, but the fact that people are returning should be an indicator of change.
Lebanon is not for everyone, even for some Lebanese, but it’s got something special. If you want to leave, that’s fine. On the contrary, I say try living abroad, try living here and then make your own free-will decision of where you want to live – just don’t expect that to be the ultimate solution to all your problems if that’s the main reason you want to leave. Even countries we regard as “perfect” have their own problems so the grass is not always greener on the other side. You might just not know it (or be able to picture it) from this side of things.
The problem, in my opinion, lies in how we perceive our country. Lebanon’s been regarded as a battered child for so long post-civil war and other political problems that no one is noticing that battered child is growing into a beautiful young adult. If we look at it through a different lens, living here is not that bad after all.. and don’t let someone else convince you otherwise.
Like this:
Entry filed under: From the Heart. Tags: Living in Lebanon.
1.
rouba | January 5, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Well said!
My parents fled back in the 80′s. And when we returned in 1992, the country was still recuperating from all those wasted years of useless civil war. The first year might have been the most difficult time of our lives. There was no electricity in Beirut as we enjoy it now. We had to walk up all the way to the 8th floor every other day, our backpacks filled with heavy books, breaking our backs. And there was garbage all over the streets (that was before Sukleen). And somehow, it became better.
Again, and for different reasons, I moved out in 2002. Professional opportunities presented themselves outside of Lebanon and the ambition to build a career drove me abroad. But never for too long. I always have to fly back to Beirut every couple of months or so.
As someone who grew up in the West, who lived 10 years in France, whose sister is still based in Paris (after she finished her studies at AUB she traveled to pursue her education and ended up staying there, also for professional reasons, you don’t find many cancer research facilities in the country) I have to say finding my true home and my true identity has been a struggle. I never belonged in France as my parents always focused on our Lebanese roots when we were young. And in Lebanon, I sometimes (often?) feel like a stranger.
Dubai is a good alternative I guess. No one there has dreams of “passports”. We know we will never be granted any Emirati nationality. We are all expats for live. And we all long to return to our homes. And that’s good I guess. Although Dubai is home too, in so many ways.
But I am kind of saddened my children will have that same feeling of not belonging too. I sincerely hope we can make Lebanon a stable home for them. Three generations of expats is way too much.
I think what’s important, and that is our duty, all of us, is what you mentioned so rightfully: we all have a responsibility to better this country.
Yes, we may nag all year long. But we are allowed this privilege of nagging only if we take charge and try to make a change. If we just blame others and wait for others to do it for us, nothing will ever change. After all, aren’t we the ones electing those corrupt politicians at every single new election? Aren’t we the ones allowing them to perpetrate this state of devastation? And unfortunately, I see many in my generation (and even younger ones) willing to go back to civil war instead of focusing on building a strong (unified) nation for all. (It’s as if they completely forgot what happened for 20 years in Lebanon. There must be some kind of mass amnesia for people to keep on following the same warlords over and over again since the 80′s and still until this day.)
Wherever you may be, work hard and work well. And bring back new knowledge and skills with you. Help build Lebanon. Even if you don’t plan on returning for good. Make the effort and find ways to inject some of that “greener grass” in Lebanon, somehow.
2.
lanceschaubert | January 5, 2012 at 5:09 pm
Do you think it might even go deeper? Like the Phoenicians who sailed everywhere but home before anyone else? They were in Tyre and Sidon back in the day…
Like the post.
3.
mautomata | January 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm
I like this, especially as one of the visitors
. Hopefully one day I’ll be a returnee and have my little studio on Mar Mikhael 
.
I was thinking about it today actually and then read this now…Hmmm..